DBT skills for family members and loved ones

DBT skills give family members practical tools to support a loved one with borderline personality disorder (BPD), depression, or other issues of strong emotions — while protecting their own well-being. Loving someone with intense emotions is hard, and it often feels like everything you try makes things worse. DBT offers a different, more effective way to relate.

Why families turn to DBT skills

DBT was developed to help people with intense emotional dysregulation, and the same skills translate directly to the people who love them. Family members learn how to validate without giving in, set boundaries without escalating, and stay grounded when emotions run high. These are learnable skills, not personality traits — and they make a real difference in day-to-day relationships.

What family members learn

A DBT skills course for family members covers a new interpersonal approach (how to ask for what you need and respond to hurtful behavior effectively), how to regulate your own emotional responses so you can stay effective under stress, and how to increase acceptance of the things you cannot change. If you're new to DBT, it helps to first understand what DBT skills are.

Support for you, not just your loved one

It's easy to pour everything into helping someone else and lose yourself in the process. DBT skills are as much about your own well-being as they are about the relationship — reducing your stress, protecting your self-respect, and helping you sustain the relationship without burning out.

Our course for friends and family

Our DBT Skills for Friends and Family course is a live, 8-week online program for spouses, parents, adult-children, and friends. The next cohort starts August 26, meeting weekly from noon to 1:00 pm. Spots are limited.

Reserve your spot

Common questions

Can DBT skills help me support a family member with BPD?

Yes. DBT skills give family members concrete, practical tools to reduce conflict, communicate more effectively, and avoid unintentionally reinforcing harmful behavior — while also protecting their own well-being. You do not need to be in therapy yourself to learn them.

Is this therapy for my family member?

No. This is education and skills training for you — the family member, partner, or friend. It is not therapy, and it is not treatment for your loved one. It teaches you a different way of relating that many people find more effective than what they have tried before.

Do I need my loved one to participate?

No. The DBT Skills for Friends and Family course is for you. The skills work whether or not your loved one is in their own treatment, and many family members take the course on their own.